Archive for April, 2010

Calling In The iPhone Police

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

From the Annals Of Plutocrats Are Us….

You’re an engineer, working for Apple, and you accidentally leave your prototype iPhone at a bar…

It’s found by someone.

Instead of returning the phone to the engineer or to Apple, thereby saving one geek’s bacon and/or receiving a reward for loyalty from Cupertino, the someone decides to hand it over to Gizmondo, a web tech site, and coincidentally/deliberately Gizmondo cuts the finder a check for $5,000.

And so Apple calls in the police and the police raid the home of the Gizmondo editor.

Gorilla sums it up: “Just so you know who’s really in charge in the United States of America!”

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Quote Of The Day

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

From German Chancellor Angela Merkel:

“Germany feels an enormous obligation to guarantee the stability of the euro”.

Gorilla translates:

“We are obliged to defend the euro all the way down to a level consistent with guaranteeing the stability of the German Chancellor”.

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Know Nothing Nothing

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

The financial reform bill is stalled, thanks entirely to the Know Nothing Party…

So, a compromise will be reached, and a nothing bill will be passed.

The point of financial reform is to be seen to be tough on Wall Street, without actually correcting any of the practices that led to the mess we’re in.

There’s nothing here of substance about bank size, derivative transparency, or genuine consumer protection, but at least Americans are now aware that only one political party is serious about protecting Wall Street’s interests.

Gorilla says: “The shitty never sleep!”

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Denial Isn’t Pretty

Monday, April 26th, 2010

But that’s where the Germans are these days: firmly stuck in the land of denial

The bottom line for Berlin: several hundred billion Euros will be needed to bail out Greece and Portugal, the alternative is the end of Euroland as a serious player with America and China, and a collapse of the Euro (something which Germany would not find too terrible, given its beggar thy neighbor trade policy) and possibly several major European banks.

So, the talk of tougher conditions is window dressing, fundamentally German politicians will have to come clean with their voters on the size and scope of the rescue effort needed.

Gorilla says: “You can pay Greece now and you can pay Greece later!”

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The Phony Partner

Monday, April 26th, 2010

Senator Lindsey Graham last fall: immigration first, or no climate change bill

Senator Lindsey Graham this week: climate change first, or no immigration bill

Why bother negotiating with clowns like this?

The Know Nothing Party is not interested, full stop, in supporting any legislation proposed by this Administration.

We’ll see today whether these phony interlocutors will climb down from their filibuster threat on the financial reform bill.

Even leaders as cynical, duplicitous, and puny as the Know Nothings should at least pause before deciding that backing Wall Street to the hilt is the best election strategy to confront a citizenry who aren’t happy with the Wall Street bailouts.

Gorilla says: “Phony is as phony does, and that’s all these phonies do!”

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A More Accurate Memo Would Say…

Sunday, April 25th, 2010

“The visit to Britain by Pope Benedict XVI, the noted protector of pedophiles, could be endangered, if anyone still took him seriously”.

Instead, a Foreign Office memo suggests Benedict develop a line of condoms, bless a gay marriage, ordain a woman priest, and open an abortion clinic.

Gorilla says: “One man’s pedophile is another man’s Saint Peter”.

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Civil War Continues

Friday, April 23rd, 2010

Bombs away again in Iraq:

Still waiting for the recount of the recount, with all the money poured into the election you would think a vote could be achieved in less than 6 weeks; the Sunnis clearly aren’t happy.

They expected Allawi would win and be less Shiite-centered than the current Prime Minister.

They’re now more or less off the US payroll, and don’t appear to be very confident in the future.

Meanwhile, we’re still in declare victory and get out mode, so that we can get bogged down further in the civil war in Afghanistan.

Gorilla says: “These are tribes without flags, while we want flags without tribes, good luck with that!”

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The Contagion Begins

Friday, April 23rd, 2010

Greece wants those loans pronto!

And now we’ll see just how serious the Europeans are about rescuing their economic regime.

The Greeks need roughly 3 times the money offered so far (i.e. roughly $150-200 billion), in order to get through the next 3 years, irrespective of how much or how little austerity they undertake.

The Portuguese need at least $100 billion to do the same.

The Spanish and Irish may need similar injections, particularly if the cost of rolling over debt continues to rise.

Big European and US cross-border banks are also potentially at risk, since the dollar carry trade has done so much to finance these very questionable peripheral Euroland nations.

Everyone is counting on extend and pretend, followed by robust economic recovery that will make the hard decisions unnecessary.

So far, economic recovery is not very robust.

Markets know this and are betting against the ability of sovereign states to bail themselves out: until they do.

Gorilla says: “Greece is the warm up act for some very black comedy to come!”

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“And Here They Thought We Were Serious”

Thursday, April 22nd, 2010

NATO?

What’s the point of that been for the last 20 years?

An easy win over the Serbs, a few thousand troops for even more pointless wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and an ever expanding bureaucracy that enjoys the good life in Brussels.

Apparently, NATO is still vital, but only to the Eastern Europeans, who think we’ll come marching in on their side should the Russians invade.

These would be the same Russians we cut a deal with last week to eliminate a bunch of nuclear weapons.

Missile defense, another colossal waste of money, is the way we keep the Eastern Europeans onside, but the Western Europeans alas aren’t terribly interested in phony security.

Shouldn’t NATO scrap its aging nuclear arsenal?

Not so fast!

Hillary says we shouldn’t move too fast on nuclear arms reduction in Europe, mainly because the East Europeans and Turks don’t want us to move to fast.

Older NATO allies, like the Netherlands, Belgium, and Germany, want to get rid of what are by all accounts useless, nonstrategic weapons.

So, we’re back where we’ve always been, with an alliance whose members outside of the US cannot project anything like military power in the 21st century and many of whose members don’t see much point in having their soldiers die while fighting very marginal terrorists in countries far, far away.

“This alliance is bloated,” the American official said. “It needs to be reorganized for the 21st century.”

Modernization is the key, as it’s always been in Washington’s advanced think tank circles, although that’s currently defined as less bureaucracy in Brussels and more boots on the ground to fight terrorists, who are winning in Afghanistan despite being equipped with very 19th century technology.

And so the circle remains unbroken, and nuclear proliferation spin is now the new deterrence, or something…

Gorilla says: “Time to take the Mannekin Pis out of this alliance!”

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Spinning As The Toilet Flushes

Thursday, April 22nd, 2010

Unemployment: the Easter Bunny is no longer to blame!

Unemployment: still above 450,000 weekly claims and 4.6 million continuing claims!

Unemployment: if a dent was being made by “recovery”, weekly claims would be in the 300-350,000 range!

Unemployment: still forecast to be at 8% two years from now!

Unemployment: still nothing to see, and certainly nothing to be done, as far as our leaders are concerned!

Gorilla says: “Nearly 2 million could be hired at $25K/year from Helicopter Ben’s 2009 profits, but he’d rather hire inflation hawks!”

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