Posts Tagged ‘Apple’

Calling In The iPhone Police

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

From the Annals Of Plutocrats Are Us….

You’re an engineer, working for Apple, and you accidentally leave your prototype iPhone at a bar…

It’s found by someone.

Instead of returning the phone to the engineer or to Apple, thereby saving one geek’s bacon and/or receiving a reward for loyalty from Cupertino, the someone decides to hand it over to Gizmondo, a web tech site, and coincidentally/deliberately Gizmondo cuts the finder a check for $5,000.

And so Apple calls in the police and the police raid the home of the Gizmondo editor.

Gorilla sums it up: “Just so you know who’s really in charge in the United States of America!”

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Your Misogyny May Vary

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

Apple’s cleaning up their App store, removing sexually suggestive material so as to present a better corporate image to families pre-iPad.

Apparently, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is not as sexually suggestive as say Sexy Scratch Off or Dirty Fingers or iBoobs.

SI is of course equally misogynistic, but it’s a better known national brand than On The Go Girls, so the swimsuits stay.

Gorilla says: “Revenue wise, scantily clad is as scantily clad does!”

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RDF With Steve: DOA

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

The iPad, time to fire up the Steve Jobs Reality Distortion Field:

1) All the cool features of an iPhone without the portability!

2) None of the features of a portable computer but cheaper!

3) All the dazzling iPhone apps without a proper operating system!

4) All the pointlessness of a Kindle with more features!

5) Blazing 1GhZ chip with equally blazing 3G network, party again like it’s 1999!

It’s not quite a jump the shark moment for Apple, or a reprise of the Newton, but it does remind Gorilla of the Toll Brothers CEO on the cover of the NY Times Magazine, extolling the virtues of tract mansions literally moments before the market topped.

Gorilla says: “Veni, vici, iPadded cell!”

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