Posts Tagged ‘Know Nothing Party’

Blogging Blues

Monday, January 23rd, 2012

Gorilla loves to write, loves his blog, but also gets weary going over the same old issues that never get resolved.

For example, who cares who wins the Know Nothing party nomination? Absent a total economic breakdown in the next 6 months, President Obama should cruise to reelection.

Who cares about the US budget deficit? Actually, no one in power cares, but they’re stuck in a doom loop narrative of their own creation.

Cruise ships? Can’t be bothered.

Various Middle Eastern civil wars and other conflicts? Honestly, it’s great to see a somewhat fitful march towards democracy, but there’s no US national security interest involved in the region that doesn’t begin and end with oil.

So, Gorilla’s not been as frequently topical thus far in 2012.

Gorilla says: “Hoping the world obliges with more interesting news this Chinese New Year!”

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Shorter Final South Carolina Debate

Friday, January 20th, 2012

The most ridiculous Know Nothing candidate wins in every ridiculous Know Nothing state.

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Early Non-Issues of 2012

Sunday, January 8th, 2012

Gorilla returns to the blog with a few insights from the outer limits on issues that won’t matter at all in 2012:

The Know Nothing Party’s Presidential and Vice Presidential Nominees: Whoever they are, they will lose the general election.

The US defense budget: Could easily be cut by 30-50%, but it’s a middle class jobs program, so it will remain, like ag subsidies, a symbol of what politicians will never touch in any serious way.

The Arab League: No, they won’t solve Syria, or any other Middle Eastern problem, because they never have.

Middle East peace: See The Arab League.

North Korea: Another dictator, another year of irrelevance.

Iranian noisemaking: They’re more concerned with consolidating their influence in Baghdad and Kabul. Cutting off the country’s main source of revenue is not on the agenda of the craziest of mullahs.

Unemployment: the great non-issue of 2008-12 continues to be ignored.

Russia: The KGB will continue running the place until Russians decide to be more like Syrians, and Russians won’t.

Gorilla says: “Pick your own issue, pretend it’s important, do nothing to address it, and you’ll be a viable non-issue expert in no time!”

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Clown V. Clown

Monday, December 12th, 2011

Clown #1: “Know Nothings are an invented people, endowed by their creator Roger Ailes with as little truth and as much racism and misogyny as still fits in with 21st century America”.

Clown #2: “C’mon, I’m running for office, so I’ll bet you $10,000 there’s absolutely nothing about me that wasn’t invented by someone, maybe even by me”.

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The Bastards Didn’t Win!

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Mississippi and Ohio show the way: hating women and busting unions has no political future!

Alas, efforts to suppress voting remain the cornerstone of Know Nothing dreamers, until and unless the Justice Department gets off its ass and starts defending the Voting Rights Act!

Gorilla says: “Negating the negation of hateful assholes is small beer indeed, what we need is democracy!”

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On The Road To Keyesville

Monday, October 31st, 2011

Herman Cain: tax evader, sexual harasser, oh, and did the Know Nothing poobahs also leak that he is black?

It’s clear that senior Know Nothings want a nominee who isn’t a clown, but alas they all are!!!

So Cain is now being groomed to be the new Alan Keyes

Meanwhile, Romney appears to be what he’s always been: an amoral, reprehensible disaster whose mission in life is to run perpetually for offices no one wants to see him win!

Gorilla says: “More gifts from the gods for President Obama!”

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Allah Likes Cash, Too

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

While American Know Nothings recoil in horror at the prospect of Islamist parties coming to power in Muslim countries or sharia law being adopted in non-Islamic states like Oklahoma, the Islamists who won in Tunisia intend to be firmly pro-business and tolerant of all faiths.

Amazingly, these same right-wing American clowns had no problems with Islamists who wrote the constitutions of Iraq and Afghanistan, or doing deals with Gaddafi and Iran, possibly because the opportunities for America’s corrupt corporations were so much greater…

Gorilla says: “Glass houses, etc.!”

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Yet Another Know Nothing Right-Wing Liar

Friday, October 21st, 2011

Senator Marco Rubio of Florida, not that this should be at all surprising, most of today’s GOP “leaders” are in fact liars…

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Shorter Fifth Clown Show

Wednesday, October 19th, 2011

Casus belli: Electability in direct proportion to insensibility.

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Shorter Latest Clown Show Round

Wednesday, October 12th, 2011

Mitt doesn’t fit, but they’ll suck on it.

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