Posts Tagged ‘North Korea’

Ten Issues Nobody Really Cares About

Wednesday, August 21st, 2013

1) Torture: Manning gets 35 years for leaking documents, while torture continues in Guantanamo and around the world.

2) Syria: Chemical weapons or not, nobody’s going to war for Syria.

3) Egypt: a failed state and a successful military dictatorship.

4) Middle East peace: a sham and a fraud, as it’s been most of the last 65 years.

5) The deficit and/or the debt: Both are falling, while those who claim to be worried are only worried about their taxes being raised.

6) Gun Control: puhleeze…

7) Immigration Reform: has never been a realistic possibility in this Congress.

8) Afghanistan and Pakistan: two failed states in a race to the Islamist bottom.

9) North Korea: Maybe the Chinese are slightly worried about massive refugee flows when the regime implodes, but otherwise there’s nothing there.

10) The “rebranding” of the Know Nothing Party: see Middle East peace.

Gorilla says: “All of these things distract us from the economy, which no one in DC cares about!”


North Korea Questions

Monday, April 1st, 2013

In addition to all the rhetorical angst, and the lack of any clear intelligence on the ground, isn’t it at least possible that what’s going on in North Korea is the end of the Sung dynasty?

And shouldn’t we stop exacerbating the situation with meaningless military flyovers and stating the obvious (“yes, South Korea is our ally, yes, we’ll obliterate Pyonyang if Seoul is attacked, no, we haven’t got the capability to fight against an army of several million starving soldiers attempting to invade”)?

If it’s the case that this dialog of the deaf is intended to be a plea for dialogue, why don’t we sit down and cut a deal (same question could be asked about Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and the failing states of the Middle East)?

Gorilla says: “And we’ll keep asking why we are wasting time on gun control and immigration when millions remain unemployed and desperate here at home?”


We Need More Missile Defense That Doesn’t Work!

Friday, March 15th, 2013

Yep, the middle class jobs program called the Pentagon has been assigned the task of defending our country against North Korea!!!

A country whose people are literally starving to death and a country that so far hasn’t been able to lob even the semblance of a threat across the Sea of Japan, but hey, they might, so we must!!!

Here’s the money quote:

“The interceptors in question have not hit a target since 2008”.

Gorilla says: “When the blue Pyongyang night meets the gold Boeing day, someone waits for fees!”


A Country Starving For Death

Tuesday, February 12th, 2013

North Korea is not a serious national security threat to the US, no matter how many nuclear tests it decides to run.

On the other hand, since the Korean War Pyongyang has alternated between sabre rattling and desperation, for recognition, for food.

So, no, America can do what it likes about North Korea, but elevating it to a serious threat is neither serious nor threatening.

Gorilla says: “Only fifth-rate nations consider fifth-rate nations a problem!”


Pyongyang Punditry

Wednesday, February 29th, 2012

If we can sit down and cut a nuclear weapons deal with North Korea, why can’t we do the same thing with Iran?

Gorilla answers: “Because their people aren’t starving and their banks are solvent, apparently!”


Early Non-Issues of 2012

Sunday, January 8th, 2012

Gorilla returns to the blog with a few insights from the outer limits on issues that won’t matter at all in 2012:

The Know Nothing Party’s Presidential and Vice Presidential Nominees: Whoever they are, they will lose the general election.

The US defense budget: Could easily be cut by 30-50%, but it’s a middle class jobs program, so it will remain, like ag subsidies, a symbol of what politicians will never touch in any serious way.

The Arab League: No, they won’t solve Syria, or any other Middle Eastern problem, because they never have.

Middle East peace: See The Arab League.

North Korea: Another dictator, another year of irrelevance.

Iranian noisemaking: They’re more concerned with consolidating their influence in Baghdad and Kabul. Cutting off the country’s main source of revenue is not on the agenda of the craziest of mullahs.

Unemployment: the great non-issue of 2008-12 continues to be ignored.

Russia: The KGB will continue running the place until Russians decide to be more like Syrians, and Russians won’t.

Gorilla says: “Pick your own issue, pretend it’s important, do nothing to address it, and you’ll be a viable non-issue expert in no time!”


Talking Again

Thursday, January 20th, 2011

North and South Korea are back in the chat room!

And this should be no surprise to anyone, because there was never a chance of these two going to war.

But the atmospherics after the North Korean shelling in December made things seem much worse than they were.

Gorilla says: “Now that they’re able, it’s back to the table!”


The Pyongyang Bang Theory

Tuesday, January 11th, 2011

Five years, five minutes: North Korea could hit Alaska!!!


1) We must continue with missile defense, although it has never worked.

2) We must cower in our beds over the possibility that a missile could be launched against us by yet another fifth-rate nation, followed quickly by the nuclear annihilation of said nation.

3) We must invent justifications for not seriously cutting the only government agency whose spending is out of control.

Gorilla says: “Phony threats and middle class jobs are all the Pentagon has to offer!”


Et Voila!

Tuesday, January 4th, 2011

Back to the negotiating table with North Korea…

There was never any chance that the Koreas would go to war, and even less chance that anyone would go to war for them.

Of course Pyongyang’s in the midst of a succession crisis, and may therefore not be a reliable partner.

On the other hand, the sooner talks get serious, and include an explicit bilateral deal with the US that covers security and assistance guarantees, the more likely it is that the regime will totter and fall.

Then perhaps we can end the ridiculous policy that views this and other fifth-rate countries as existential threats to our way of life.

Gorilla says: “There were a few shells, but mostly this is a negotiation about peanuts!”


13 Days And Waddya Get?

Monday, December 6th, 2010

Another “who cares?” from China!

And this time the Chinese are right: nobody’s going to war over North Korea.

And as usual, the Chinese want to play both sides against the middle.

What’s not clear is what the US thinks the middle is when it comes to North Korea.

Pyongyang, like Tehran, is not a serious threat to anyone, and, despite all the posturing, there’s little appetite in DC for another pointless regional war.

But we’ve backed ourselves into a no-win position by insisting that these fifth-rate failing regimes are an existential threat to America.

Gorilla says: “Our President’s too busy soothing unruly child billionaires!”