Posts Tagged ‘Professor Marvel’

Choking On Rosy Scenario

Friday, January 8th, 2010

85,000 more jobs shed in December, only 2 1/2 times the number forecast by market “experts”!

It’s difficult to recall in Gorilla’s lifetime when reality and fantasy diverged so much in the US economy and in the perceptions of those charged with doing something about it.

In Realityville, the economy is not adding jobs; it’s not growing more than anemically. Most growth is replacing inventory from short-term, ineffective schemes like cash for clunkers. The real unemployment rate is above 15% (the 10% headline rate doesn’t count those who’ve given up looking for a job). Auto sales are falling again. Home prices are declining. The CRE bubble is bursting. Consumers aren’t spending, they’re saving.

Meanwhile, in Fantasy Land, the Fed is worried about inflation, which doesn’t exist but might if a powerful central bank is mostly obsessed with defending its hawkish reputation. The political class is hopelessly deadlocked, so there’s little chance of the large scale stimulus (on the order of $2 trillion/year for the next 2-3 years) and jobs program the country has needed for over a year but hasn’t gotten. The chattering class is reading the tea leaves about Byron Dorgan, whoever he may be, and regurgitating the “Daddy, save us from terrorists” dirge. Americans on Main Street seem increasingly angry, despairing, and deranged.

Professor Marvel doesn’t have a magical answer to bring these disparate threads into something resembling a grown up approach. President Obama seems more concerned with rearranging the rhetorical deck chairs than proposing anything that just might be controversial.

Gorilla sums it up: “Rosy scenario doesn’t pay the mortgage, doesn’t provide health care, and doesn’t hire. What good is she?”

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Quote Of The Day

Friday, December 11th, 2009

This one from Senator John Kerry on the occasion of his announcement with Senators Lieberman and Graham of a bipartisan climate change plan:

“The reason there’s not specifics [being released] today is very specifically because of the process that we are honoring”.

That would be the process whereby no one in the world’s greatest polluting country is asked to sacrifice anything, everyone is expected to benefit enormously, and Professor Marvel keeps closing the curtain down on those who see little need to research “clean coal”.

Gorilla says: “Sausagemaking also contributes to global warming, and that’s the cap and trade we’ll get!”

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Lose Interest? Just Drop Off The Key, Lee!

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

Interest only loans, and the delinquencies and houses behind them, shall be dropping from the sky faster than you can say Professor Marvel!

Those taken out in 2003-06 will be resetting over the next 5-7 years. As a real estate professor quoted in the above article said, if you’ve got one of those “you’re cooked”.

Gorilla says: “You can be greedy and you can be stupid. But the interest on being both is usurious!!!”

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Labor Day: What’s Worse Than Nothing?

Monday, September 7th, 2009

Yes, the unemployment rate is now at a 26-year high, with every likelihood of pushing through 10% and staying there for years.

Even more chilling, and totally unreported, is the fact that there have been 223,000 net jobs lost in the private sector in the past 10 years, while the population has grown by 33 million.

Gorilla says: “Whenever the next Professor Marvel describes the untold magic of Mr. Market, don’t hesitate, fire him!”

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“Subsidized With Pride In The USA”

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009

Ridiculous ideas don’t always originate with ex-generals, but then again few ex-generals lately have had a more ridiculous idea than Wesley Clark.

Clark proposes that American gas stations provide country of origin information for the fuels they sell.

“Most Americans don’t want their paychecks going to Venezuela and other regimes that don’t agree with and support the U.S,” said retired U.S. Army General Wesley Clark, who co-chairs Growth Energy, the (ethanol) industry group behind the push.

Gorilla gushes: “Professor Marvel would be so proud of Wes! Patriotic Americans want our paychecks going to pay sky high subsidies to millionaire corn farmers in Iowa and billionaire sugar producers in Florida!!!”

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Moving Forward? Not For You, Toto!

Wednesday, August 5th, 2009

Hillary Clinton’s in Kenya and she’s concerned the Kenyans are not doing enough to investigate and hold accountable those Kenyan officials who instigated and/or participated in the 2008 post-election violence. In fact, the Hague may launch an investigation if the Kenyans don’t get busy soon.

“I know this is not easy; I understand how complicated this is,” she said. “How do you go about prosecuting the perpetrators without engendering more violence?”

Gorilla answers: “Well, actually it’s quite simple. Our officials keep talking about moving forward, give a free pass to those who authorized and committed torture, provide a permanent government guarantee against moral hazard, ignore domestic and international law, close their eyes, and click their heels together three times. We invented a new policy device, but that comes naturally to a highly developed, innovative, yet responsibly reluctant political class. It’s called Professor Marvel’s Impunity Machine.”

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Click For Special Price? A 404 From Treasury

Thursday, July 9th, 2009

Uncle Sam’s decided on the firms that will be paid by the taxpayers to buy some toxic assets from our great Wall Street subsidiaries, who are also being paid by the taxpayers.

But apparently, there’s a 404 error when it comes to disclosing what prices are being paid for all this junk. The banks who are selling don’t want to say how much the assets have been marked down. The Treasury doesn’t want to say whether the subsidies will be used to pay a higher price to the banks.

So, yet again, an Administration that says it believes in transparency doesn’t practice what it preaches.

Gorilla says: “If we knew what this stuff is actually worth, then we’d have some idea as to how much we’ll be continuing to bankroll Wall Street. If the toxic asset banks aren’t in fact zombies, then we might be able to say something good about the prospects for economic recovery.”

Far better, says Treasury, if we whisper quietly among ourselves, click our heels together three times, and imagine we’re meeting Professor Marvel for the very first time.

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