Posts Tagged ‘Russia’

Early Non-Issues of 2012

Sunday, January 8th, 2012

Gorilla returns to the blog with a few insights from the outer limits on issues that won’t matter at all in 2012:

The Know Nothing Party’s Presidential and Vice Presidential Nominees: Whoever they are, they will lose the general election.

The US defense budget: Could easily be cut by 30-50%, but it’s a middle class jobs program, so it will remain, like ag subsidies, a symbol of what politicians will never touch in any serious way.

The Arab League: No, they won’t solve Syria, or any other Middle Eastern problem, because they never have.

Middle East peace: See The Arab League.

North Korea: Another dictator, another year of irrelevance.

Iranian noisemaking: They’re more concerned with consolidating their influence in Baghdad and Kabul. Cutting off the country’s main source of revenue is not on the agenda of the craziest of mullahs.

Unemployment: the great non-issue of 2008-12 continues to be ignored.

Russia: The KGB will continue running the place until Russians decide to be more like Syrians, and Russians won’t.

Gorilla says: “Pick your own issue, pretend it’s important, do nothing to address it, and you’ll be a viable non-issue expert in no time!”

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The Puppet Speaks

Monday, June 20th, 2011

Russian President Medvedev says he can’t imagine running against actual Russian ruler Prime Minister Putin in next year’s Presidential contest.

And he’s right: whatever Vlady wants, Vlady gets!

What’s more tiresome is the refusal of Russian reporting to acknowledge what the country is: a dictatatorial kleptocracy only interested in staying in power.

Gorilla says: “You can take the tyrant out of the Presidential box, but you can’t make him think!”

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Less Than One Pentagon Year

Thursday, February 24th, 2011

Russia’s total defense spending through 2020…

Once again, this begs the question: when we are spending 10 times as much as anyone else on defense, what exactly are we getting?

So far this decade:

1) Losing two pointless wars against “terror”

2) Not actually capturing any major terrorists

3) Not successfully predicting any major international events, particularly in the Middle East and North Africa

Gorilla says: “It’s not just a jobs program, it’s a bonfire of inanities!”

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Death, Dagestan Dreamer, Convenience

Monday, January 24th, 2011

Lots of carnage down Moscow way

So which is it?

A seemingly Third World country that can’t protect its own citizens?

A must get with the program, or else, terror’s the only thing that matters?

Gorilla answers: “Or a Dagestan Dreamer, who does or does not the empire’s business, drop by drop away?”

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Going To Bat For Robber Barons

Monday, December 27th, 2010

Here in the US, we haven’t put a single banker in jail, despite a financial disaster caused by bankers. We’ve tortured people by the dozens, yet no one has been held accountable.

In Russia, the Kremlin’s contempt for the rule of law continues: first, by allowing people like Khodorovsky to loot the country in the 1990s, then by allowing thugs like Vladmir Putin to loot the country today.

And who is our Secretary of State defending?

The robber baron, of course: “This and similar cases have a negative impact on Russia’s reputation for fulfilling its international human rights obligations and improving its investment climate.”

We, on the other hand, allow banks to loot foreclosed homes without so much as a bleat of anger.

And let’s not mention the ongoing joke that is Guantanamo, the continuation of warrantless surveillance, and the targeting of American citizens for assassination.

Gorilla says: “When you’re not serious about the rule of law at home, tyrants abroad will only laugh!”

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This Week’s George T. Platter And Bait

Thursday, September 9th, 2010

The tidetime folklorist wonders when Lermontov will make a comeback in Dagestan.

The Platter: A Kavkaz Dancing Song by Dombay (on the graves of Russians for going on 2 centuries)

The Bait: Berkley Power Bait Blade Dancer (drop by drop away)

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Thumbs Up From The Thug

Monday, August 30th, 2010

Yes, the KGBeast will be running for President of Russia in 2012!!!

“It interests me as much as … I was going to say ‘as much as anyone’, but really more than everyone else!” he quipped. “But I am not making a fetish out of it!”

Having more or less outlawed freedom of assembly, murdered his political opponents and irritating investigative journalists, and installed his very own Mini Me as the current President, what worlds are left to conquer?

Gorilla answers: “Only the civilized ones, where he’s still persona non grata!”

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Out For A Bout

Thursday, August 26th, 2010

Russia’s not happy about US attempts to extradite the Russian arms dealer Viktor Bout.

The suspicion on the US side is that the Russian government is protecting Bout, while the Russians may be worried that Bout will spill the beans in a US court.

It’s hard to assess which side is being more breathtakingly hypocritical.

Russia and America are among the world’s largest arms dealers, and they, like Bout, have certainly provided weaponry to some very dubious regimes.

Gorilla says: “The reset button is reading tilt again!”

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Moscow Blights

Thursday, July 29th, 2010

Not having enough power already, Russia’s FSB may now “”warn officially an individual about the inadmissibility of actions that create the conditions for the commission of crimes”.

So, we’re back to the good old days, when anyone with a dissenting opinion or in possession of inconvenient facts about the regime may be subject to warning, detention, or, if you’re a reporter, execution.

Not that this changes much, it’s an entirely undemocratic regime run by what’s left of the KGB anyway.

Gorilla says: “No more elevator shoe jokes about Medvedev, comrades!”

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A Deal With Russia, But Not With Iran

Friday, May 21st, 2010

Will we take yes for an answer and try a little diplomacy with Iran?

No, we want more sanctions, so we cut a deal with the Russians (and who knows who else in the Group of Six) to get more sanctions!

So, we piss off the Brazilians and Turks, allow the Russians to sell conventional missiles to Iran, and get what precisely in return for our principled stand on (what was it again?) non-proliferation?

Gorilla says: “It is to laugh, and our Iranian policy is a joke!”

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